Apparently having one child is only the beginning when it comes to people asking about your family planning.
Before you have children, you always get the…”sooo, when are you going to have kids?” This is usually asked in a sing-song manner and normally coupled with “it will change your life!”. For women with infertility the former is the most loaded question in the world, but I honestly don’t think anyone ever asks that with any negative intentions. You start getting used to that question when you are 37 and you haven’t conceived your first child. But now I’m a grown up! I’m 38…I have a little human who depends on me! However the questions keep coming, just veiled in a different way.
“Are you going to have another?” Ahhhh!! That question is so much harder than the ones BEFORE I had Elliott. During the afterglow of delivery and seeing that tiny little being, I was ready to have another embryo transfer immediately. I wanted all the babies. Baby feet are the cutest and a newborn baby cry is the best sound I have ever heard.
But folks–I’m now knee deep into this parenting stuff, and this is a young mans game. At 28, I could handle the sleepless nights. The crying that seems to only happen at the most inopportune times. The lack of free time (after 6 am) that seems to prevent you from taking a real shower where you can shave your legs. But now I am here dealing with a reality that those are things I won’t have until this one is off and married!
Everyone says that two makes it easier. I’ve seen that happen with dogs…but can I get a guarantee that it happens with humans? Can someone promise me that I will gain some level of sanity back by adding another set of 2 legs to this crazy house? I’m not convinced.
So when people ask me “sooooo….are you going to have another?” I reply with the best answer I know at this point: “Well–Elliott has 5 embryo-mates hanging out in a swanky, paid for cryogenic freezer apartment in Atlanta ready to go….but we haven’t decided yet.”