Monthly Archives: October 2014

Where is this “glow” everyone talks about?

So I am almost four months pregnant, and I have yet to get the “glow” so many people talk about.  The following, however, is what I have gotten/learned:

1) I have learned that either the people all over the internet lie about everything, or I am just a weird case.

2) I have learned that once you have a child, you are apparently given a button that makes you an expert.

3) I have learned that no babies sleep in cribs, and yet I see thousands of pictures of babies sleeping in them.

4) I have learned that I don’t need to buy anything at all for the baby, because all they will do is hang out in a bouncy thing.

5) Morning sickness is not actually morning sickness. It is all day sickness, that in my case, gets worse at night.

Don’t get me wrong, I have loved being pregnant.  We fought so hard to have this baby, and this baby fought so hard to make sure we knew it was there.  But being pregnant is not easy.  Aside from the physical demands, it has opened the door for so many opinions that, to be honest, are often times unsolicited…and yet people feel it is necessary for me to hear.

Newsflash….Jesse and I want to make the same mistakes that everyone else makes. Its what makes having a baby real. Every child is different, just like every parent is different….and while I appreciate people’s attempts to help us save money, what seems practical for you, may not be for us. As I am writing this, it makes me sad that some people may read into this and think it is me being ungrateful, or even worse, directing it at them specifically, but in reality its not directed at anyone. Jesse and I want to do this. And if you know either of us very well, you know that we are going to do what we want anyways 🙂

I still have so many friends that are still on their fertility journey.  Every day I think about them, and remind myself that the annoyances that I feel today pail in comparison to what they are dealing with.  I have gotten GREAT news from one of my first infertility friends, H. She had a successful IUI after several tries. And then one of my newer friends got pregnant without science, after two failed IVFs. Life is funny, and never a guarantee.

Off to go make some terrible decisions…I think this time on clothes.

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Baby prisons….pregnancy guilt…and trying to be normal

We are almost 12 weeks now, so we are in the throws of researching all of the things we absolutely “need” for #theclaw. Stores like Babies R Us totally stress me out with their shelves of stuff.  Don’t get me wrong, I am sure most of it is helpful and some of it is necessary, but it seems a bit like over-kill to me. The search for the perfect stroller, crib, car seat, swing, etc is enough to make a type-A google-aholic go crazy.  I find myself in a blur when I am comparing everything…and I have to keep telling myself that at the end of the day I can probably put a diaper on the kid, give it a wooden spoon and a boob and it will be fine 🙂 However, that doesn’t eliminate my anxiety over building the best environment we can for #theclaw.

Furniture is causing me one of the biggest headaches yet. Cribs are hideous.  They either look like giant headboards with rails (b/c 75% are “convertible” beds) or monstrous wooden prisons. For such a necessary piece of furniture to be so ugly and cheap looking is beyond me.  I am not going to spend thousands of dollars for one that looks just like a cheaper one…only with more elaborate railings and end pieces. I have an amazing company that makes solid wood gorgeous furniture for me (You’re Unique–based in Georgia http://www.youreunique.net/, btw) but they won’t make me a crib for liability reasons.  I get it…but I am just so used to having quality furniture from them, that I am comparing everything to what they made me. We found one at Pottery Barn Kids, but I don’t like the color. I found an iron one, but I am afraid it will be too girly…and well we aren’t finding out what we are having….and well, after typing that, I realized I really don’t care.  So we will continue to search…eventually we will find something, and if not, COSTCO makes really nice dog beds and I am thinking the baby will be fine in that for a few months…right?

Pregnancy guilt.  Over the last 8 months I have become part of several infertility groups. I have seen, on many occasions, women in these groups get angry when someone announces they are pregnant.  It gets worse when their pregnant friends complain about things like morning sickness, or being uncomfortable. Because of their reactions, I have been very quiet in the groups that I once found supportive. But this blog is MY safe haven. I am going to be honest…being pregnant has not been easy on me. I have not had morning sickness…I have had all day sickness, that tends to get worse at night.  I have come down with a stomach virus and sinus infection (and now cold) that I can’t take anything for, because I am pregnant.  You are basically forced to suffer.  Don’t get me wrong…I am thrilled that #theclaw is growing healthy inside my belly, and I wouldn’t change any of it….but being pregnant is something that I was not prepared for, and I am only in my first trimester.

I don’t know that I will be what I consider “normal” ever again. In 7 months, #theclaw will actually be here, and my normal today is me, Jesse and our 5 fur-kids.  Right now something else has more control over my body than I do. In the past two weeks I have been more exhausted than I thought a person could be. I have been sicker than I have been in probably 10 years (except when I had food poisoning). I am trying to stay engaged with my day to day life, but I would be lying if I didn’t say it was a struggle. They say that you start feeling more “pregnant normal” in the second trimester.  Here’s to hoping that “they” are correct. Also…here’s to hoping I can wear maternity clothes soon…jeans with sweatpants on top? YES PLEASE!

Oh…and here is the last pic of #theclaw for 4 weeks…(please note, this was taken a couple days shy of 12 weeks, bc someone thought burrowing into my uterus was fun — FYI, it causes cramping and some bleeding..so it’s not fun for mom):

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