So where do I begin? I feel like I have so much to share. So much to catch the world up on. And yet, so few words to describe what I am feeling and thinking in my head. I think the best thing to say from the beginning, is that I kind-of lied in my post when I said I wasn’t pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t intentional. My body was very clear, or so we thought, that there wasn’t a baby on board. I will use the next few paragraphs to describe the hills, cork-screws and loops that we have been on over the past few weeks.
Going up the first hill: As you will remember, I had my early scare and started going to the doctor 8 days past my 3 day transfer (August 11). At that point all looked ok, and when they took my HCG blood test (pregnancy hormone) my level was 6.9 (anything above 5 and between 25 needs to be re-checked in a couple days). Keep in mind this is really early to detect a pregnancy, so it was interesting. August 13, I had my blood checked again and my HCG level was 12.1. In a viable pregnancy your hormone levels are supposed to double every 48 hours, and mine were. However, I was still having some issues that were leaning towards me being not pregnant.
Down the first hill: August 15 my mom and I went to GRS for an ultra-sound and tests, and it was at that point that my doctor determined that I wasn’t pregnant. My body internally just didn’t look like a woman’s who was preparing or carrying a baby.
Around the first bend on the way up to the loop: August 18 I had to go back to the doctor to end my first clinical trial. Physical. Pregnancy blood test. And discuss the next protocol (this was when I posted my last blog update). We were ready to start our next fresh cycle and we had accepted this one didn’t work.
Loop #1: The HCG blood test came back from that monday at 156. Typically an HCG # doesn’t go up when a woman isn’t pregnant. So that put us down a whole different path…ectopic. Ectopic pregnancies are when the embryo doesn’t implant in the uterus and attaches to the tubes or somewhere else in the reproductive organs (fallopian tubes usually, but sometimes ovaries or other places, from what I’ve read). The fear behind ectopics are rupturing and causing serious issues that sometimes require surgery. However, every angle in the ultrasound showed no evidence of an ectopic. So I had to come back in two days.
Coming out of loop #1: August 20. Ultrasound to check for ectopic…gonna shock you…nothing could be seen. When I tell you nothing could be seen, I mean no signs of ectopic or viable pregnancy. A couple weird areas, but nothing of note. Blood test done and results came back 491. So they more than doubled between Monday and Wednesday.
Really fast twist: August 21. Went BACK to the doctor to get an ultrasound bc I wasn’t feeling great. That was when we saw things that looked a bit more normal, and we thought we should see my numbers go down.
Up the second hill: August 22. Went back in for blood. The number had to go down. Everything looked more in line with the fact that it would. I went home and waited for Amy to call me to give me the new lower number….except it wasn’t. My new HCG # was 1292.
Down the second hill: I didn’t get an ultrasound that morning, so I went back when I got that number bc I was still so worried about an ectopic. Dr. P was at a conference, so Dr. K did the ultra-sound. After about 10 minutes, she identified what looked like a little fetal sac (Jesse and I call it, the claw or #theclaw). However, my progesterone numbers and estrogen numbers had been so low throughout this, we truly didn’t think anything was really happening there. That was when the decision was made to put me on progesterone in oil shots and estrogen to help what seemed like it was cooking.
Going fast into loop #2: I went in to the doctor bright and early on Monday. I was pretty sure we were on our way down, bc my body through a couple signs at me (or so I thought, again) that we were officially over with this pregnancy. Ultrasound to see what was going on, and Dr. P not only saw fetal sac #1 (#theclaw), but also feta sac #2 and what looks like fetal sac #3. Before you get all crazy about triplets, let me say that none of the sacs really looked like they should at this particular stage. We couldn’t tell if any were viable, or if they were all empty. That was when I was introduced to Dr. Time. While not a physical doctor, Dr Time was really all we could and can rely on to hopefully shed some light on what is happening in my body. We didn’t even do blood, because it wasn’t going to tell us anything more than what the ultrasound showed.
So now we wait. We wait until next Tuesday, September 2, to see if any one of these 3 little beans have anything to show us. I have been so thankful to having a doctor whom I fully trust, and who has managed this insanity with incredible composure. He has never freaked me out. He has never told me that I need to be worried. He got dealt a patient whose body shows one thing and whose labs tell another. Dr. P said the story is made up of so many pieces and my pieces just weren’t telling a very clear story. And even further, y nurses and the staff at GRS are so amazing and supportive, I can’t even say enough about them.
Now you will understand why I have been so hesitant to post what is going on in our journey. Hopefully we will have answers on Tuesday, and whatever those answers are I can truly say that I am ready. We have the support of our family, friends and the amazing GRS staff and we will keep on traveling down our path.